我的蛋糕日记

something important.

2007-04-25T22:54:00.000+08:00

is excited, then happy and finally worrying.

but i ain't gonna tell you why yet.

yet.

S*U Interview

2007-04-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

This is sort of a follow up to my previous post ages ago, for people who might have been wondering all these while what stupid interview was that.

Read again. (title)

Oh wells, it was damn freaking early - 9.15 am. So I woke up at like 6.30AM, blah blah blah, I tried to dress to kill but I guess I failed quite badly at that. Then blah blah blah again, I'm really glad I'm working in tampines and only 1 bus away from home cos morning trains are freaking warm... so you imagine, i sort of sweat all the way from tamp to dhoby ghaut... wasted all my make-up and tissue paper.

Then I was there early... Happy! But it rained... sian diao!

Ok skip the boring parts of being in the toilet for like 15 mins trying to get ready, and the school building being freaking warm again. So blah blah, I showed my docs... blahblah... took photo (yes, they say so prof can recognise).. waited very long... and

i was out in 10 mins.

10 mins! i woke up at 6.30 AM today ok... and its only freaking 10 mins?!?!?! and maybe a little less than that.

And in case you're wondering what they ask me:
-why s*u.
-why econs.
- on what basis would you choose s*u over the others. if you offer me double degree.
- my job. cos i wrote it in my 300 word essay... say i'm brave.
- what current affairs have i been into. i told them eldershield then crapped alot abt healthcare cos i knew nth now except insurance.
- ask them about s*u. funny.. i got no questions except are you going to offer me double deg? oh wells, of cos i didnt ask likethat.
- taekwondo. oh pls, i didnt even dare to tell them ive no intention of joining tkd in uni.
- ask them questions again. oh please.

anyway, guess what they told me when i say i'll choose s*u for sure if they offer double deg to me - well, you know double deg isnt such an easy thing... people drop it after a while might be due to reasons like they cannot cope, changed interest and a whole lots of bullshit and you need to maintain certain gpa. Oh wells, might as well tell me go home and dream right.. go 1 big round and shoot me.

wells, i guess thats about all. i said my life is boring. so lets pray n*s sends letter quickly for fa*s+ engine... another of my fat hopes.

Bye, for now.

Oh yes anyway, certain words are masked to protect personal interest should relevant authorities attempt to search blogs and, to prevent penalising myself any chance of double deg. HAHA

random good news.

2007-04-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

Yay! Me going for interview on 19th!!!

PHS!

2007-03-31T00:48:00.000+08:00

Just had some shopping with Lum as Bugis Street. Despite with the intention to spend a lot, I ended up only with a red flora dress and a wooden box bag. I still haven't got myself any heels! Hais.

Anyway, today was the last day of PHS Hotline before it would officially merged with the main hotline. Most of the boys were leaving, - to army or to start poly, while even those who stay on, are going of separate ways. Or at least, I'm going over to admin dept to do email. No more answering calls. Believe it or not, I was actually both glad and sad as I don't have answer calls anymore.

This is the PHS Team, with Pin Xun being the extra, excluding those who have already left the force and the 3 perm staff who stole our rice bowl(kidding!).

And this is Sexy Bunny. Her name IS Bunny, or at least a part of it. She loves me, we all think cos she refuses to approve my leave once and rejected a proposal to let admin borrow me. And her favourite phrase has got to be "Quick, log in... the calls are coming in!" and "Take message ah wendy, take message... calls are coming in.."

Thats her again, trying to do it the 60s BROOM BROOM style.

I guess these are the people I'm gonna miss most, well excluding Cindy of course. I'll miss PX for promoting me to be the co-org of the FAILED Sentosa trip, Ben for letting me trash him in logic9 and Jian Jie for his really funny actions and his Teh Tarik with no tea smell.

And not forgetting to present my work desk... most of the time. In case you are wondering what's on the computer screen, its call a call script. The call scripts works exactly in the same manner as a callerid - provides the caller's name, add, ic no, and other details la. So next time when you call up Macs for supper, don't panic if they pick up and address you straight by your name.

And before I forget, the black stick sticking out of my hair is our headset- its actually more than just a black stick. Its a black stick microphone + hairband(which mess up the hair instead) and an earpiece. The most impt thing is that it costs SGD150, each.

And this thing is call PowerMax. I've to look at it like 8hrs a day. The screenshows the PHS hotline screen and there you can see all the people in the team and what they are doing.

And lastly, my extension is 5385 and yellow phone means I'm not on call and available(aka slacking). After today, my ext will be taken off the screen.. so sad can!

Hm,It has been both a fun and difficult time these 2 months- going through days of fearing to go over to 1122, saving call queues, handling complains, taking over 100 calls a day. I'm sure to miss everyone alot and the times that we've shared now that it has all come to an end.

Well, rest of photos will be uploaded to album soon, pls be patient!

Anyway, if you are still wondering what on earth is PHS, actually it stands for Policy Holder's Statement. Its an annual summary issued by the company to her policy holder to inform them about their policy details in the past year. If all that still doesn't make sense to you, its actually the purple envelope you or your parents who have a policy with THE COMPANY or a CPF Account received.

This is Wendy. How may I help you?

2007-03-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

Seriously, seriously, seriously.

I really hate Motor Ins., esp claims. So, dear people, please spare us and do drive carefully.

The Future is a Gift.

2007-03-19T23:01:00.000+08:00

Very often, we carry baggages from the past and as a result we react accordingly.

These baggages are like a ball and chain holding us, restricting and hindering our path forward. In order to move ahead, we need to acknowledge and let go of our past.

Once this is done, we are freed of the ball and chain and then able to move forward at great speed.

My Unwritten Thoughts

2007-03-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

Actually I've been thinking quite a bit these days, its just that nowadays it doesn't seem so easy to express thoughts in words anymore.

Hm.

Does that mean we should since say Goodbye? We shall see about that.

just another office girl?

2007-03-08T23:27:00.000+08:00

Friday is coming in 30 mins time. Wheeee!!! Wendy loves Fridays cos weekend is coming!

This week was really terribly busy. Everyday we had to take an average of like 100 calls and repeat the same things like at least 20 times each. I'm losing my voice already despite like 2 bottles of honey lemon this week and lotsa herbal tea at home. Yet, I'm wondering how long can we get this busy before I'm put back to the general hotline...... Haissss.

Ok, open houses are coming soon and I still haven't spend some quality time looking through the courses before visiting them. I need to take leave sometime next week to have a good rest and do that! But I guess I'll most prob still be sticking to my long-ago-choices. Those that you know, everybody knows. Haha.

Lalala, Wendy needs to sleep for another long day tomorrow after which she will go shopping to stock up clothes for uni :):):):):)

Goodnight world.

Hardwork pays, eventually.

2007-03-03T01:02:00.000+08:00

To start it off, that 2 years was a whole damn lot of miserable life.

I'm just glad 2 years in hell paid off, though IT wasn't fantastic, it was good enough.

After this, I need to fufil my promise- to study real hard starting August.
Now, life has only just started. :)

To Infer, or Not?

2007-02-28T22:51:00.000+08:00

I thought hard about the R-word then open up my fortune cookie and that was what it says,

The Fortune You Seek Is In Another Cookie.

Oh. Goodnight.

I'm more interested in being beautiful than pretty.

2007-02-23T00:35:00.000+08:00

Alrights, it has been more than a week. Things have gotten back to normal after CNY, calls calls and more calls that is. Everything else has been alright- the colleagues have been nice and god damn funny but unfortunately leaving soon, callers have been generally nice and occasionally ridiculous and most importantly PAY is coming soon!

And there're so many things I wanna buy- cosmetics/beauty products/clothes/books/gifts, this that and everything else!!!

Ok tmr is OFF day and I'll be away for 2 days. Anyway it doesn't make much difference here, there isn't much for daily updates as well.

Goodnight world.

illed.

2007-02-13T22:03:00.000+08:00

Its only like 10pm and I'm already hopelessly tired. Reckon its the medcine just now. :(

Oh wells, so I was terribly sick ytd and this morning: ran a fever, felt weak all over and putting all the blame on the ma la huo guo I had on sunday, which wasn't(it was gastric flu). And it feels extremely bad to be sick, for people (like me) who get sick like only once every 2 or 3 years. Its either it comes really bad. or it doesn't come at all.

And yes, I'm sleepy yet I've still gotta study for my 100 mcq test for WORK tmr. Yes! For Work!

Ok Ok! Study. Goodnight everyone.

Random.

2007-02-11T00:33:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to blog about Friday - one of the most eventful days since the beginning of the year, but I was sort of too tired last night so I went to bed without it.

As so this was what happened that day...

Finally after 1 week plus of phone calls, I was finally back to training on Thursday with about 6 other new collegues from Motor and Special Benefit departments, excluding Cindy, and that was when we met 2 very funny and noisy colleagues - The Cunning One (TCO - cos he look damn cunning) and The Stupid One (TSO- he was damn stupid, you will know why).

So on Friday, TSO started talking to us during a break while his good friend TCO went down for a smoke. I intro myself as a sec 3 drop-out who hold only a PSLE cert and Cindy, as a sec 4 student waiting for her results. And that TSO, very happily thinking that his infocomm diploma was smth too big for answering phone calls, actually believed! Worse was he even try to persuade me back to studies. I was like, fun! That was like the 1st time in my entire life someone actually persuade me to study. Then he was damn uncle I tell you, though he was only 23 - he actually asked for angbao packets from the food court drinks counter for buying a $1.50 drink, then went back to office to boast about his free gift. And he keep asking me to go get married, cos I couldn't study and according to him - answering phone calls is some stupid job, despite his high pay in the line.

And this was the highlight of that day:

TSO: eh, ya hor, 5.20pm already... why u never go get your results?
Trainer: Aye, you got cheated by them already.
TSO: what? I got cheated?
Cindy & Me: ya! (laughed like crazy)
TSO: Huh! So why you never go get your results? Cos you also drop out one ah?
Cindy: Aye she better than me. (pointing to me)
TSO: Oh I know already... Cos she drop out later than you right? Thats why you never go get results.
Trainer: Actually they all A levels one.
TSO: Huh, so I was cheated! So for everything that you all tell me for the whole day, what was real?
Me: Only the fact that I'm 18 and from East View Pri.

Then that night was also damn adventurous. We had our dinner at Fish & Co, after which we had nothing to do cos the movies looked really boring... so, we decided to find smth to do- took a train to pasir ris but all the shops at White Sands were already closed cos it was about 10 plus already. So we ended up eating a cornetto from 7-11 cos it was damn cheap, then realised that its damn stupid to come to pasir ris to have cornetto, from 7-11 somemore. Really nothing to do, and feeling too wasted to go back to tamp after the cornetto,we decided to walk back to tamp after playing basketball at downtown arcade. We walked along that park whatever is the name I couldn't remb. The road was just dimly lit, rather eerie and guess had less than 10 people around. So the 3 of us walk and scare ourselves till we came to the map where Liping lost her way the other time... and this time we lost our way too! 2 routes were facing us - a dimly lit bridge and a dark lane which leads to the main road. In the end, after failing to read the maps, I decided to call for return to downtown and take a bus back in case anything happens and upon that Cindy that woman started running... then Liping ran too... then I thought what happened... so I ran as well. And that was what.. picturing the scene 3 girls running like crazy in a dark eerie park.

*

lalala, meeting my employee for brunch tmr then minmin to get my dress at chinatown. sleep!

Goodnight world.
Goodnight to you!

On a Life like this.

2007-02-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

I was asking myself this,

Is this really what you want to be?
Are you content growing up and old with a life like this?

Then I remembered this,

You grow up, then old, and forgetting a lot of things.
You forget your dreams.

income's income is hard earned.

2007-02-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I think I need to love my job.

It's only my 5th day taking calls and sometimes I feel like this cannot go on anymore. Hais. And today afternoon shift somemore, ok, the night was peaceful lar... I was reading jokes on the forum, reapplying makeup, and doing absolutely crap.

The Big People are coming tmr and on Wed, I wonder what should I wear. Whatever it is, I'm only a temp and I only get 7/hr... who works 7/hr and worry everyday abt what to wear cos BIG PEOPLE are coming to their workplace. I reckon I'm not pretty enough to make them have even a single look at me.

Its another 2 days of calls before I'm back at trg again. Seriously I must repeat this for the 3rd time today that its unfair for me to answer anything when I don't even have enough knowledge myself. So thursday quickly come so that I can embrace in the thought of attending lessons, studying and earning money.

And I understand why they always say its forever having a test at the workplace; now I really wish I'm back studying. Just back to plain studying, which I think I still love.

Even if its doing FM for the rest of my life.

Even if its doing FM for the rest of my life...

Ukulele!

2007-02-02T00:29:00.000+08:00

AHHH... Finally!
Ok I know this is really not my generation of songss but,
I wanna go 优客李林's concert on the 31st of March!!!!

But its abt 3 days of "Good Morning ... XXXXXX, this is Wendy, how may I help you." ... -.-

Cold War

2007-01-30T21:51:00.000+08:00

Started taking calls for the 1st time today and its was uber stress~

Overall the callers were good people esp the my 1st ever caller who advice me from keeping him on hold too long and except for an agent who scolded me for not knowing ialsodunnowhat of the motor ins.

I was so nervous for the whole day man that I was shivering all the way from 0830-1730. Worse still, office aircon is like free until I thought I was going to freeze in there. Even 2 cups of teh tarik, 1 cupof milo and another of coffee is not enough to keep me warm... maybe keep me running to the toilet only. Aircon is such a nuisance nowadays! I'm gonna bring a fur coat tmr, LOL!

Ok, gotta read up website to prepare for moving out to battlefield tmr!

Goodnight world. Goodnight to you!

Xue Ping!

2007-01-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

Aww. Did quite a bit of shopping today at Chinatown. Bought a dress, 1 top and 2 belts. I'm so tired now.

I'm still craving for my laksa cup noodles. Ok, I know this is so random.

Anyway, I've spent most of my CNY allowance but I'm still lacking 2 tops and a pair of shoes. Sian, there're just so many beautiful clothes ard but are so freaking expensive.

Hais, I'm still thinking about my that $40 black dress, the $29.90 purple flora dress, the This Fashion tube top which has since went missing and the metro red top. Ok, I'm gonna go get that red top tomorrow after work and before Happy Birthday.

Its another brand new week!

Goodnight world. Goodnight to you (:

Happy New Year to ME

2007-01-28T00:29:00.000+08:00

I missed SAT today cos I got the test center wrong too late and the freaking administrator told me that there's a test date available in March, which I just found out that there's no test available in Singapore then. The next test is in May. :(

And there goes my SAT results and that 100 over dollars. For the next test in May, there's no way that I can use my lousy results for uni application since SMU's application closes on 2nd Apr and all supporting docs must be handed in by 1 week after that. So, I'm just gonna pay another US$20 over and do it for FUN! Unless I'm so lucky that I'm able to apply for scholarships after first year, that SAT score from May will be BULLSHIT! -.-

Hais, but I can't blame anyone for that carelessness. :(

Anyway, went out with lum and wx after her SAT. Shopped quite a bit and saw this really beautiful dress at far east which I reckon I'll go back and get it after Jan's pay comes. Then we had desserts at Big O followed by more shopping and then dinner at Wang Jiao HK cafe. Oh man, the porridge was... AWWWWWESOME!

Shopping with huang you hui and kat tmr, supposedly for office wear but since 姑姑 brought me lotsa her unwanted office wear when she came over today, I can spend all I want on new year clothes!!! :)

Wells, I guess I just have to pray very hard that A's will be good enough to get me into my ideal course and I'll also need to be content being just another normal student doing normal stuff. Since not everybody gets what he/she wants all the time.

Life as a trainee CSO.

2007-01-25T21:23:00.000+08:00

It has been 2 days. Although I'm glad that I started work already, we've have been training training and more training all the way till next tues, and life is nothing easy (yes, ask Cindy). We had to master this really hardd programme which allows us to email, sms, fax, answer calls, access the net - for work purposes only - yesterday. And today, we had a whole day of boring telephone skills - which was freaking, really freaking tough. Its like we can't even 'ermm', 'arh huh', or even say that something is confidential. :(

But it was fun lar, when we sat in to listen to the senior staff answer enquires - all sorts of funny, crazy and kind customers. It can be so nice that Cindy and her senior were laughing all the way while the staff I'm attached to was so fucked up by a crazy customer.

Tomorrow is another boring day studying abt insurance and stuff. And SAT is 2 days away!

Hais,

Thank you for reading. This is Wendy from XXXXXX.
Have a nice day.

finally.

2007-01-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

wah tell you one good news.

we're employed. i'm employed. (:

A Walk Down Memory Lane.... for $65 a Day.

2007-01-18T23:46:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Faith, I went back downstairs to Jyss today for lessons. Its amazing, like just 3 years down the road and this time I went back not as a student but some sort of a teacher of the day.

It was weird; and the sense of familiarity that I thought I always had with the alma mater had somehow lost. Its like, it has only been 1 year since I last went back and everything has somehow changed already and showhow, so have I. Time really flies, and that made me realised that we cannot deny that we're seriously growing up too fast, and too furious.

So for the lessons, all I had to do was babysit 'cos I couldnt teach and haven't got anything prepared to entertain them given the fact that I was only informed 45 mins before lesson starts. But overall, it was kinda fun - with students laughing over your name everytime they finish greeting you (so i gave them 1 min to laugh then ordered them to sit down), talking back, and even arm wrestling in class. I really miss the bunch of sec1s man. :D

Besides that, went around after breakfast at canteen to have a look at the school and started feeling nostalgia about sec school life once again. Despite having many new additions, someparts remained unchange. I sat down at the tables outside staffroom- the then newly added furniture back in 2004.Those were the days we did our work there during night study, sneaked in tibbits and went for waffle ice cream sessions @ the then new CC. The orange wall was still there - the place where the original cakes cam whored! (:

And there was the 3rd storey study area which seemed rather abandoned now - the MT regular hangout. WN's vandalism was still on one of those benches! Haha.

And that was also the place that house our saturday breakfasts which we tried too hard to keep them discreet which still feel like ytd though not so the same anymore.Then there were the house events -sports days, post exam relays etc. I missed guides too after passing by GG room and seeing the curtain of our times still hanging around - the GG room deco periods, Ikea trips, studying sessions inside, meetings, games, gadget making, the everything.

I missed the people too. The people that werent there anymore - KS, Koh, Chew, Neo.. Its like Jyss doesn't seem like Jyss anymore without them, without 4e4, without people that matters. And suddenly, I miss our East District, our gossips and our classic jokes.

I miss calling Ms Neo -Ah Hong, the PE teacher - Ah Meng and KS, Ah Kuang. I thought abt the encouragement notes from Chew, the lollies from Koh in my yellow sock and how no teachers will ever do that again.

I miss everything so much despite the school being across the road from home. I miss all so much that I don't feel like stepping in back here again and destory my wonderful memories of it.

And money sake aside, thats the way it should be. Some things are best staying the way it is - as memories.

Others, lets keep moving on.

fictionally unemployed II

2007-01-17T01:51:00.000+08:00

translate: protective film rewind tripped.
translate: sodium carbonate (given as NA2CO3)
translate: HCL
translate: failure, rewind, unwind vault close
translate module 8

translate them to chinese.

that ended my funny intw as a translator as some electronics company down at loyang this afternoon. it was a whole hell of a bullshit and mistakes cos i reckon no normal 18 could do that.. orh maybe tj whom i tot could recommand the job to but realised that i didnt have his number neither the company's.

oh anyway i broke my record for sending out 11 resumes tonight.
wish me good luck. :)

frictionally unemployed.

2007-01-14T01:13:00.000+08:00

And so after giving up one interview with really good job prospects after much considerations, I went to another one which called me up after I sent in my resume the night before.

The man woke me up at around 9am, asking if I sent an application to their company for the Admin Support Staff position. Half asleep, I was like ok to everything and the next moment... it was 12.45noon. So I quickly woke up, went online to check which exactly is the position that I applied to that called... checked the place and how to get there on street directory... chose my clothes, changed, chose again and only after like 3 sets i decided what to wear.

The blahblahblah~, I arrived at Bedok interchange.. some bloody 6-7mins walk I was told. Seeing that I've like 30mins before the intw, I took the risk of walking there instead of 229 which I found to be able to reach there. So basing on the little memories of the route of 229.. I walked walked walked for abt 10 mins, I was cheated ok!.. ok then, BLK38, 39, 40.... but where's 42??! finally after failed attempts to find it on my own... I went to ask around. OK.. its ACROSS the road. *diao*

walk walk walk.. ok finally reach blk42 :) its a series of shops under a HDB flat and so here it goes... rather deserted neighbourhood, 1st shop, #01-66 rusty and dirty metal rails down, no signboard, no shop available. #01-64 some shop.... -a number of #01-66 lookalikes-... a grocery shop... a hairdresser... finally.. there's a tuition agency(looking hopeful)... #01-55 forgot the shop(hopeful still)... #01-44 sushi delivery(looking good).. finally...

#01-42 SUPPOSED IT SERVICES COMPANY... guess what I saw.. ok those whom I've already told the story to, sorry.. no more entertainment...
*
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Rusty metal rails down.

No signboard.

Dirty surroundings.

Heard sound of drills.

I WAS FREAKED OUT! MY GOD I TELL YOU!

then I called my mama to ask her what to do. In the end, she got me to ask the sushi pple next door....

me: hello, i was supposed to be here for an intw with the people next door
sushi man: oh i don't really know.. next door? I thought it was a grocery store... (went over to have a look and was shocked at the situation)

then sushi man asked fellow sushi man who is making sushi behind the curtains... DUNNO! TOT IS WAS GROCERY SHOP?!?! then sushi man one said... "try backdoor"

so i walked to the back alley... saw aircon fan spinning.. hmmm... came to a rusty metal framed door.. damn rusty i told you.. saw shoes of construction workers.. was thinking DIE LIAO.. but not wanting to give up since ive went all the way there.. saw a 30+ man greeting me at the door... and a lady... "WOOSH~" .. must be the woman who called 10 mins ago and the man who called that morning :D

still doubting the company.. went in.. ok, aircon-ed office env... started interview.. ask questions ask questions ask questions... and guess what the freaking woman never break the eye contact for a goodwhole 10 mins! I was like "errrrrr" .. then wanted my testimonial.. helloo.. my testimonial still with GO.. too lazy to go back and take.. k then when on the the email test.. FREAKING EMAIL TEST.. helloooo ur company is like some pirate ship/HEI DIAN... typed typed typed.. totally freaked out.. 10 mins the boss say ok enough wendy u can go alr.. we will call you back on monday.

I end my entry with my title, MY FREAKY JOB INTERVIEW.

I'm a Sagittarian

2007-01-12T01:07:00.000+08:00

Sagittarius - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

Your playful nature brings out the happy inner-child in dates
You're willing to take risks in love... and reap the rewards
You've got a killer sense of humor that gets talking with any hottie you meet

Your negative traits:

Sometimes your sarcasm comes off as biting and abrasive
You can be brutally honest, tactless, and truthful even when it hurts
You're such a free spirit that you find it hard to commit to one person

Your ideal partner:

Someone high energy who will pick up and out with you whenever
Is creative and fun - thinking of new adventures for the two of you
Is bold... and not afraid to tell you "I love you" early on

Your dating style:

Unpredictable. You never know how the night is going to end up.

Your seduction style:

Daring. You're always pushing to try something new in the bedroom.
Full of imagination. You've always got a new fantasy you're dying to try.
Spiritually driven. Sex for you can be an other-worldly act.

Tips for the future:

Realize that while freedom is great - sometimes a stable relationship is better.
It's not all about you. Focus on your partner's needs every once and a while.
Make up your mind about your partner, and stick to it. Your fickle will ruin things otherwise.

Best color to attract mate: Purple

Best day for a date: Thursday

What's Your Love Profile?

taking care.

2007-01-09T00:29:00.000+08:00

I had a headache of the century this evening. Reckon it was due to the fact that I've slept all the way till 6pm, including the 2 hours I got up to have lunch.

I'm getting sick of this doing nothing. I'm sick of having nothing to wake up for every afternoon. I'm sick of the net, tv, sleeping, reading. ARGGHHHH! I'm most sick of waiting.

I NEED AN AIM IN LIFE!!! I NEED A JOB! most importantly I need the money.
@*#^$*@^$^*$*((^^#*()@^#%$^&*#&!*~((!*R&)#@)($*(*$

Luckily there's still pay to look forward to. Off to sleep, again.

a girl's best exercise.

2007-01-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

Had dinner with the pink apron girls and bosses on friday and man, it was AWESOME. We had like 500 over dollars worth of seafood at nosignboard esplanade then about 50 dollars worth of icecream and gelarecitylink. Believe me, I'm still gaga over the pepper crab. :D

It was shopping shopping shopping with mama on saturday afternoon. We went around bugisstreet... shopped shopped shopped.. saw many retro dresses... very tempted but didn't get any there. Then we went off to Chinatown. Oh man, its a new shopping paradise!! :D Mama bought me a red retro flora dress and a pair of black tights. Hais, I mustn't shop anymore before I get my pay cos the more I shop, the more I think about my pay and the fact that I'm still unemployed. :( :( :(

Arh now, k800i or d900 ?

not a brand new start.

2007-01-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

I seriously think I'm a dead and more than just a piece of shit. The 3rd day of the new year is just about to end as I finish this sentence and nothing has changed. I'm still out of job, still eating into my precious savings and still waiting for a stupid phone call.

I gave myself excuses that perhaps its the 1st day of school that things need to warm up a bit before they would call me up for the job until wei told me that she called the school. I was like FUCK?! The person supposedly told wei that all the relief positions were filled up already... in like 1 working day after she called to ask me to register my application??! AND SHE WANTED ME TO REGISTER MY APPLICATION... cos she needed people desperately.. but HELLO! Just when I've all my plans beautifully laid out, this kind of fucking news get to me... HAIS!

Jobs are really freaking irritating. Oh man, how I wish I am going for army too....

I seriously hate waiting. I'm gonna call them tmr!

the best moments...

2006-12-31T01:38:00.000+08:00

are the last moments, cos....

me no longer pink apron girl. a million :D
me online application approved!!!
me gonna call that angeline woman tmr to tell her i can start work on the 3rd.
me getting pay soon.

once again.. ME ONLINE APPLICATION APPROVED IN 1 FREAKING DAY!

soooo happy man.

ok, last entry of the year and...

its time for a brand new start :D

3 days to a brand new start.

2006-12-28T23:54:00.000+08:00

My knee is getting from bad to worse, thanks to all that standing for the past 2 weeks. Bo bian, this kind of ailment is inheritary, I call it my fu gui bing.

Everyone quitted at the same time and yet I'm the only one still serving my duties, hais. Today's work was really bad. There was no sales as expected, so for that 5 hours, this was what I did: go toilet, talk to silkpro auntie, look at hairdyes, test perfumes, read 8days, go toilet, talk to silkpro auntie, arrange products, decided which perfumes to buy, go toilet, talk to silkpro auntie, read 8days, wrote my wanted list, go toilet, talk to silkpro auntie, go have dinner, continue 8days, go toilet, talk to silkpro auntie, say byebye to silkpro auntie, decided which hairdyes to get, wrote a stupid note to the colleague working thr tmr, go toilet, then KNOCK OFF!!! :D

All for $30!!!

Anyway, ytd's tkd xmas gathering was alright.... except that I woke up this morning by a terrible stomach ache which made me lao sai like 5 times. Besides that we had lots of fun dancing, eating and eating again. I wanted to play mahjong but was too poor to do so and LUCKILY I didn't play, haha cos our dearest Reynold was lucky like siao.

Oh yes, the person from fsps called during dinner break. I'll most probably be starting work on the 1st day of school as... both a lab tech and a relief teacher, 2 duties for the price of 1!! HAHAH! But its good lar... if not where else do you get a job where you can try out 2 totally different job scopes and earning fucking high pay and work damn short hours?

Ok now that the main job is gao dim, its time I should hunt for another job to fill up my weekday nights or my weekends. I was thinking of either tutition, starbucks barista, or some retail/ f&b jobs for the weekends.

Shopping with cindy tmr, followed by class bbq. Hais, no money no money! Yet everyday is so filled with activities/work that kept me spending.

5th and 7th pls quickly come!

Merry Merry Christmas Baby!

2006-12-25T21:00:00.000+08:00

Christmas working was nothing but fun. Lets skip the part about earning only 38 cents of commission after transferring one to Carmen, and the fact that I've no double pay for waking up at 7am and standing 7 hours today.

The whole day was spent talking to Marta, bitching with Carmen, taking pictures, koping testers, and worrying about having ZERO sales. Haha and I guess the best part was I think I was mistaken to be Kat by her Mr Cushion admirer who sent an auntie over as a spy! Hais, taka counter is closing tmr, I think I'll miss everyone there~ especially the siao ah pek whom I've to face almost everyday and who fries at least 5 eggs a day.

Lalala, now, how should I say it?

Christmas.

2006-12-25T00:45:00.000+08:00

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE!

hohoho, laughing like santa clause cos my best friend is back and back with some real cool joke of the day!

w e ndy ; says:
u buy alr u go army can use

w e ndy ; says:
or give ur bui friends use... can moisturise ur skins

жřσииε leaving the behind, gaining the frontier says:
sorry... there's no bui people in my platoon

w e ndy ; says:
really?

w e ndy ; says:
then why u all go in early?

working tmr and the day after.
sian.

lavender;

2006-12-21T01:47:00.000+08:00

its about work, work and work again. sian.

Seriously, after the roadshow and the current job, I'm very sick of sales already. Skipping the part that commissions are very very very pressurising and fucking low that, I really think those peanuts not worth the slogging of my life for. Its not that sales are bad, in fact its good that one gets to interact with lots of different people and its nice to serve and to know that people are happy with your service. Its just that, supersian lor having to repeat repeat repeat repeat and maybe a zillion times more than just this. Its super amazing I think, that some people can do this kind of job for like many many years and enjoy it. Sales, is not my right cup of tea, yet.

Anyway, I've got like 2 jobs on hand now, most probably not taking them up but its still worth sharing:

mintmark and co. sales again but this time in a proper retail. the bosses contacted me while i was working for the current one. I shall call them tmr to ask about the details :D
some pri school at bedok's .... lab technican. don't laugh, its true. tj called me this morning telling me about some job, i tot it was relief teaching and i was quite glad about it but who knows....

oh wells like 3 more days till the end of the week's schedule and 1 more week before december ends. Hais, for some reason dreading something always makes time pass slower than ever. therefore i've decided to go shopping later in the day to appease my piss-ness for sales and make some hell out of the life of the promoters. WAHAHAHA! i can't wait to get hold of my glittery blusher!!! :D :D :D

anyway, this was joke of the day 2 days back. I haven't got the time to put it up yet.

[on MSN]

w e ndy BF NEEDED, $3 PER HOUR. LOL!; says:

remb ah $3 per hour.. bad working conditions.. 7 days per week.. no rest

and my crazy neighbour thinking its a good strategy, did this

蔡祚欣 [ GF NEEDED.. $4 PER HOUR ]

Vitamin M

2006-12-19T00:01:00.000+08:00

I'm perpetually hungry. I wonder why.

I slept till 130 today then again at 4pm to 7 cos I simply had nothing to do. I didn't went out to shop as much as I would like to... cos I had a shock of my life when I found that 300 over bucks went missing over the past fortnight into complete nothingness of food and senseless indulgence.

Hais, I'm seriously very bored.... so, I think its time I start thinking about what I could do when paycheck comes on the 5th :D

Ok here's my list,

shop for dresses. oh man, its like the fashion now and I haven't even got one!
treat my mama and brother to some good food. :D
go clubbing. dancedancedance~
buy new CDs. or rather old albums.
payback my mama money for prom stuffs. :(
pierce my nose. maybe.. maybe not.
dye/highlight/perm. 3C2, well.... 6 ways. but mama is gonna pay for dye/highlight so HAHAHA as my bday pressie.. so ZHUAN DAO!

I'm going off to finish off my dark chocs (WHEE!) then continue to grief over my 300+ bucks.

LALALA~

first time/ off

2006-12-18T02:43:00.000+08:00

so i finally started first day at trelivings, isetan scotts last afternoon.

the overall sales was rather bad therefore the whole day was spent watching mich promote, kope her lines, use it as my own, talk to the other sales promoters, play with their products, stone, applying hand&nail creme, apply hand&nail creme again then applying it again, again, again and again in different scents then stone again. that was the 6.5 hours spent, excluding my dinner break. oh, what a beautiful sunday night.

today, monday is my off day. seriously, after looking at people shopping for the whole afternoon, i'm quite tempted to get myself something too though the fact is that my paycheck for the roadshow is not there yet and my savings are running low. hais, i shall think abt it.... see what happens after i wake up later in the day.

checked out the schedule just now, except for 1 day... i'll be working mostly 9-5, alike normal office hours even on xmas eve... without OT at that small table over in taka. sian, i hate taka to be truthful. the table is seriously too small that i don't even have space to walk about cos there're just too many people and i don't like compeitition.

therefore im seriously looking forward to my day at metro and its splendid counter.

sian, i'm going to sleep, stop thinking about that table and the fact that i've to forsake my tkd xmas gathering for that table, till closing. happy new year to me.

:(

Happy Birthday, to Me.

2006-12-15T23:40:00.000+08:00

So, I'm finally legal like 23 hours and 42 mins ago.

It was and wasn't a very happening birthday this year, haha. Anyway, some people to thank:

in accordance of time,

ty, jean, faith, mydearestcindy from KL, pig, mel, andy, xiaoying, kat, marc, roy, zuoxin, weiwei , shurong, weijiethatcrap and some others on friendster for their wishes :)

no celebration on cakes' side cos mydearestcindy is away on holiday. but its okay, hopefully we can still meet up some other time when we've off days.

tkd side was crazy. only lum was present while the other girls- xy is working and minmin was ah MIA. :( nevetheless, we had quite a lot of fun lunching at Fish and Co Glasshouse with the guys and grace. i was made to stand on my chair while the whole restaurant joined in to sing my birthday song .. wah, happening sia. Then what, I was made to hold this sparkle then blow the candles off my "HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE WENDY" cake from like 1.65 m away.

Me and my cake

people present.

The embrassement wasn't the worse. Look at the presents.

this was supposed to be some BIN filled with food, i'm just lazy to rotate the picture. HELLO KITTY! WHEEE!!! :D

see, the food... so happy cos its FOOD and hello kitty somemore!

after catering to my cute and innocent side, they decided to play something erotic and wild, so......... they thought i would like to READ this...

and I DO! I'm so happy man.. hahahaha i haven't read.. i'm gonna have some fun with it later since my brother is NOT sleeping in my room tonight. HE HE HE!

ok, let you people have some sneak preview first.. and these are just the most clean ones...
there're more erotic ways and pictures.. i cannot put them up or else my blog will somehow become a erotic blog.

and being my thoughful friends, thinking that i might just want to try out those stuff after reading it.. they got me this.. and almost but didn't.. a pregnancy test kit.

After all that rahrah, we went for some light shopping for Mat's shoes then we all gave each other our first times........ to HOUSE OF CONDOMS! ah yes, we're quite a bunch of horny people.

more photos next time.. when my lazy and unproductive wife of Bobby send me the collaged pics.

Anyway, I think I should end off this post stating that I'm still a virgin and I will still be after reading that. (;

BOBBY.

2006-12-11T23:49:00.000+08:00

After 3 days of roadshow, I woke up this morning down with flu, cough and a dropdead sexy voice. The $245 was sure not easy money having not only to stand for 9 over hours straight, face lots of rejection but also have to compete with a eardrum breaking loudspeaker. There were after effects too, of seeing many $1s on the streets and measuring every cent, no i mean dollar spent by the number of ladies cheated.

Take the liquid foundation I wanted to buy earlier this afternoon at a price of 11.90, thats like almost $12 = 12 people = 4 hours of "excuse me, mdm would you like to try our blahblahblah..", going at my lowest sales rate.

The colleagues were very nice people luckily, except maybe for my crazy friend Ms Cao Hui Yan. This crazy girl, I guess, ought to be the best sales person cos she earned herself a husband at Mos Burger TPY... BOBBY! The cute Bobby! :) But I guess the best person I've met there have to be my meals-partner Liting!!! This tiny girl is like 23 lar, but about a head shorter than I'm. I really like herrrr larr!!! Hoho!

Anyway, here is one of my favourite rejections:

Me to approaching man and supposed wife.

Me: hello mdm, would you like to free our free body mass test? totally free, takes only 5 to 10 mins...

Man: Ah, bu yong le. Ta yi jing hen mei le. (translated as: Ah, no need. She's already very beautiful.)

AWWWWWW.. so sweet. How can pester somemore?! :D :D :D

Anyway, I uploaded some grad and outing photos :D
HERE

Interview tmr, what should i wear?...

Graduation Night 06

2006-12-07T09:53:00.000+08:00

I'm really really really tired right now but I can't sleep cos my hair isn't dry yet and sleeping in it is believed to result in TAO HONG, haha.

Grad last night was fun: the food was good, luckily, although one of the scallop soup really tasted herbal and awful. The programmes were good though badly overran for like almost 2 hours. I guess the only complain anyone can have has got to be the lucky draw, really I think the only best prize was the $50 note won by my class table, comparing to the mini fridges(yes!), IT bags and the one and only GRAND prize iPod.

Post Prom at Attica was rather nice also being my first club ever, underaged(by a few days). And I got in, so happy! LOL. But apparently the walk from Fullerton to clark quay was way too long in heels that by the time we're at the club, even standing was a problem. Yet I was rather surprised that I actually like clubbing, even though the class peeps with me last night were apparently not attracted to that kind of lifestyle, and we really didn't do much except to look and see, haha. YAY! I'm so looking forward to MOS with the cakes and comfortable shoes!!! :D :D :D

Aye, I think my left foot is gonna have a blister due to that stupid pair of heels and the really damn long walk, argh. The worse thing is? There's roadshow for the next 3 days... meaning 3 whole days of standing. Ah yes, happy new year wendy!

Shall upload photos another day..

SLEEP!

big plans, small plans.

2006-12-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

The last 2 days have been spent laughing, laughing and nothing but laughing. My jaw still aches a little now, a bit exaggerating, but its true.

Sunday was slacking around and wasting precious time with roy and cindy the sisters. It seems like we have annual gatherings, yes for 3 years now,having neoprints for each and always have fun, or at least I did. :)

Today was the appointment at IM, for the job on the weekends followed by an interview at OG. The interview was alright and the job was almost in our hands until we discovered actually the job wasn't that worth it and decided to consider about it. Oh wells, luckily for me the week was rather occupied for there is annual chalet tmr, followed by prom on wed/thur and job for the weekend!!!

Ok, I'll be a slacker again one week from now...

Before I end, there's this joke of the day:

Staff: Next interviewee,.......

Li Xian Long.

and I tell you its purely co-incidential. :D

really bored.

2006-12-03T01:48:00.000+08:00

Your Lucky Underwear is Orange

You have an intense personality and crave extreme emotional experiences. And your lucky orange underwear will help you take it to a whole new level.
Adventure and danger don't phase you - in fact you enjoy dicey situations. You're the first to take a risk, and the first to get the payoff.

And while your risks sometimes result in great rewards, they also sometimes result in devastating failures.
If you want to have intense moments without always risking all you have, put on your orange underpants. They'll help you experience life with rich emotions, no matter what you're doing.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

You Date Like a Woman

According to studies on dating, you date like a woman.
You tend to take romance seriously, and you're not really out for a fling.

A mental and emotional connection always comes first for you.
And rushing the physical stuff is likely to turn you off.

You're highly selective when it comes to dating, and some may say you're too picky.
You know what you want, and when you find it, you're ready to commit.

Do You Date Like a Man or a Woman?

You Don't Need a Man ... or Want One!

Generally, you're very happy being a single woman.
And anyone who has a problem with that... well, that's there problem.
Not that you wouldn't share your life with the almost perfect guy.
You simply won't settle though. Your life is too good to share with some substandard man!

Do You Need a Man?

You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.
However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.
You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.
You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.
You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.
Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

You Are 66% Independent

You've cultivated your own indepedent interests and personal style.
But you're open minded enough to also embrace anything trendy that strikes you.

How Independent Are You?

You are an Autumn

You look ravishing in: Beige, camel, dark brown, gold, jade, olive, orange, peach,salmon, teal, and turquoise

What Season Color Are You?

Make me a Man

2006-12-02T01:40:00.000+08:00

My legs felt like jelly and I felt more like floating than walking. I really don't think I've the makings of a woman - putting aside the part about knowing nothing about makeup, heels or whatever shit - shopping is really not my thing! I hate shopping! And I conclude this after 4 days of fruitless prom shopping - PLEASE MAKE ME A MAN!

Luckily, my dress was exchangable and I shopped around town and bugis alone afterthat before meeting pig for dinner at Thai Express. I seriously miss my tomyam soup. :):)

I've done this, I think at least a zillion times but don't care, I'm too bored so I did it again. And surprisingly, i thought it was accurate.

Utmost in your mind is success. You are constantly seeking stimulation and a life full of experience. You are trying to 'grow' and above all you need to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt. You are an enthusiastic individual, full of life with the desire to live intensely. You like contact with others and are enthusiastic by nature. You are receptive to anything new, modern or intriguing. Your interests are many and you are likely to expand your fields of activities. You are optimistic about the future and you deserve every success because deep down you are a 'winner'.

You haven't been feeling that great lately. Both physically and mentally you are exhausted. To your best friends, those who know you and love you, it shows. Your self esteem has been reduced almost to a minimum and in order to recover - and recover you will - it is necessary that you get away from it all, even if it be only for a few days.

Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 'think' it..and it will happen.

Nobody seems to understand you at this moment for everything you suggest or do seems to be taken up the wrong way. All of this misunderstanding is leading to anxiety and stress. The situation naturally is not as you would like it to be - you feel that you are being treated most unfairly and that trust, affection and understanding are being withheld from you and that you are being treated with a demeaning lack of consideration. You consider yourself being denied the appreciation essential to your well being and self-esteem and that there is nothing you can do about it. You feel that whatever you try to do to change the situation, you are getting nowhere fast. You would really like to get away from it all but can't find the energy or the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.

The tensions that you are trying to cope with are a result of conditions which are really beyond your control. As a consequence of this almost impossible situation and not being able to get your own way, you are subjected to frustration and almost ungovernable anger. You are trying to remedy the situation but the stress that you are experiencing is making the situation even worse. You feel so inadequate that you are not quite sure which way to turn. A good suggestion would to be to try to relieve the stress and anxiety by participating in some very active physical activity which will relieve your tension.

Oh yes, I've changed my d-reams blog to a chinese blog :)

Different Leagues.

2006-11-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

The last 2 days were spent prom shopping marathon-ing around town, joining c&k's post prom activity which was rather boring and not sleeping for the first time for nearly 40 hours.

So I did alot of research for prom dresses which i'll have some of the really nice ones uploaded here some other day :D:D:D In the end, I bought one way below my budget after i've got really sian of prom shopping but guess what, its has a big HOLE! OMG, so it like another trip to Far East tmr, thrice in 3 days :(

Still got heels, bag, makeup, hair and whatever shit there is.
girls + prom = troublesome!
Why ain't I a guy?

Oh yes, look at my new NATURAL MAKEUP!

Wah, black black si bei gothic :D
Lalala, damn pretty arh? free one somemore, prom got lobang liao. I shall make it 72 hours man.

aye i must go sleep already.

New Directions.

2006-11-26T01:14:00.000+08:00

To get around that fucking idiot,

Plan A:
Do very well for A Levels and wait for money to drop from some kind company which offers scholarships and leave this fucking place.

Plan B:
Go be a parttime typist next week, earn as much money as possible. Take up 2 jobs, fend for myself and keep dreams for later.

Since Plan A will never work out, I guess I'll just have to go on to carry out Plan B... since 手停，口停.

Boring is Beginning

2006-11-22T03:05:00.000+08:00

And so I spent the day reading half a book of the 500over paged Middlesex, jogged, watch tv, played NBA on PS2, and watched anime online till now.

The book was really good I tell you. I'll write about it someother time when I've finished it.

The jog was bad; the last time I exercised was a little more than 3 months ago you see but i reckon its gonna get better cos ive resolute to run every other day so i can turn up at grad with all those fats from Alevel supper days shed. HOHO!

And Death Note was fabulous! After watch 7 episodes and the movie, I'm like totally hooked can. Oh man, I cannot wait for dec 28, I'm gonna source for the manga/anime come tomorrow.

This is boring, oh wells. I guess the only things I can look forward to will be my games, PSLE results and picnic with the 06 girls on sat.
But this is what I call starting to live life :) not for studies alone.

Oh yes, can someone please remind me to sign up for SAT? GRR!

Afresh!

2006-11-20T23:41:00.000+08:00

New template, just the typical post exams me. The previous one got a little too pink for myself after a while. Well, I didn't make this one unlike all the others. It has been sometime since I've last used something of someone else's, though it was really tough to accept something that isn't me, I'm just too lazy right now, haha. But do keep a look out for a change sometime next month when I've got everything all sort out well and ready. :)

Now that exams are finally over, there're just so many things i wanna do:

-read! I've just got 3 books from the library, think it will be just enough to last me for a week and my HBP too, hoho! There's finally ample time to read the bestseller after 1.5 years its released and half a year after i bought it. And all my xiaoshuos!!!!
-shop! for grad and all that lala .... ah lum, where are you?!!!!
-bake!
-pack and revamp my room!
-sew!
-driving lessons!
-study SAT! oh yes, I forgot to sign up. I'll do that tomorrow.
-buddhist lessons! (still deciding, its unlike me to be that religious)
-tuition! tuition kids anybody?!
-tkd tkd tkd!
-conduct a SURE-SUCCESS slimming programme for the male version of me at home!
-workkk!
-movies/outings/eat! with o6girls, c&k, the pig, my old friends and mydearesthappygirls :)
-enjoying my perfect afternoons :D

and so manymanymany, hoho so now where do i start?

Further Maths is Nearer.

2006-11-17T15:47:00.000+08:00

Right!

Most people must be celebrating now. Oh no, not me, not for me. Chem is not my thing and I've still got a dreaded p2 on monday. Oh wells. Lucky for me, fm was okay. It can be considered one of the easiest papers I've ever done but it was freaking tedious. I spent like 1 hour one the first 5 questions and like freaking 2 on the next 7? oh wells, there were lotsa careless mistakes and its sickening cos I KNOW HOW TO DO (most of them)... oh man, wouldn't it be just good if i could have another 10 mins which account for that 10 marks gone cos all i had was 3 mins (better this time) when i discovered a mistake.

Wells, I bet the A grade will be like at least 80 marks and I'm already at least 21 marks off the total. HA HA HA!

Sian, I shall go sleep now before going back onto the battlefield to fight mechanics tonight. Well well and I shall stop thinking that most people have already finish their exams.

Oh yes, I need to say that Cedrick did made my day this morning for thanking me for all the sai gang i've done for him over the past year(:

Review!

2006-11-15T19:02:00.000+08:00

Man, I really cannot take it already.

After 3 days of intenstive exams, excluding the preparation days, I'm really gonna 垮 already. Papers were bad, good, baddd, not so goooddd, baddd.

Physics was shit lar okay? p1 was alright lar, p2 was, well.. everybody said it was bad so that ease most part of my sadness and well..I've absolute 0 thinking skills right? so p3 happily killed me. Thats the end of me and physics. Oh wells, its sad, 4 good years of physics and it ended on a bad note...

Econs was alright. p3 was good I think, cos WAGES and unemployment came out. HOHOHO my favourite topics.. wells wells, I just hope it does help me to ace the 45% like it did back in promos. p1 was CARELESS lar.. don't want to talk about it.. very dui! p2 was HAHAHA, it was crap, so I CRAPPED! :)

Wells, 1/3 of my class have FINISHED! thats the BEST ENCOURAGEMENT man. HAHAHA!

Alrights, lets mug for FM, oh no I mean me and hope that my hopeless hope can produce something positive :)

5ive days!!!!!

Changed of Timing 16/17 Nov.

2006-11-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

Oh man, 3 exams in a row, I shouldn't even be online, but this is really important.

Further Mathematics Paper 1 on 17 Nov will be changed from 8-11am to 9-12nn.

for more details, read below,

MOE adjusts timings of GCE O and A level papers on 16th and 17th Nov

Anyhow, I still found the reason rather weird.

Killer Week.

2006-11-09T19:06:00.000+08:00

After a little less than 2 days of griefing over p1, I'm so glad p2 is good.

Actually p1 wasn't really that bad, its just that aye lotsa clever mistakes here and there cos for some reason or another, I tend to skip lines when reading questions if not, at other times try to act clever. And the saddest thing of all wasn't that the questions were tough, which obviously wasn't very so, but I FUCKING read the questions wrongly again and happily discover it at 16:59:30. Exactly the same case as GP!!!

Therefore I reckon my last 30 secs is CURSED, so for p2, I happily stopped checking at 16:59:00 :) and it worked, no noticeable careless mistakes! HOHOHO! So happy! :) :) :)

Rights, thats the end of the happy part. One subject may have ended, but As is really just starting for me. Despite having memorised all the 19 chapters of econs once, I figure that I've already forgotten almost 3 quads of it after so many freaking brain cells killed for the maths papers. Hais... and physics, don't want to talk about it. If 2006 papers were meant to be tougher than the previous year, I really dunno what to expect of physics man...

Alrights, mug mug mug!
And I must seriously think all the papers WILL BE DIFFICULT (:

Actually I Love Maths.

2006-11-07T20:29:00.000+08:00

But seriously, you think I can make it?

18 more days.

2006-11-02T13:10:00.000+08:00

Cake: I feel like I'm getting married tomorrow.
Mother: Is that how you feel when you get married?
Cake: I dunno, I haven't even got a boyfriend. But I guess it should be about the same, just that I'll be prettier and don't have so many statistics in my head.

And after a night of tossing and turning, my marriage to gp was bad, or so I think.

I'll forever remember how free I want to be, and how late i saw it when I enter ELPC someday, if thats what it lands me inside.

Meanwhile I shall still think everyone else will do as badly... that can make me a bit more motivated for maths.

At the end of the day....

2006-10-29T20:56:00.000+08:00

all I want is to just seriously get myself into the ideal course.

whatever the results may be.

I think I need a lot of luck on that.

3 good days. Haha.

I've been asking myself so many times a day...

2006-10-21T17:47:00.001+08:00

拿不到 A 怎么办？

2 weeks; 噩耗

2006-10-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

虽然是心理有所准备，但这样的消息还是晴天霹雳。

嗨~ 人生啊，人生...

就是如此的残忍...

Presenting CG 06/05:

2006-10-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

For the 1/9 of my life, the moments of laughter, sadness and joy,

for the chapter that's closing soon,

an early thank you (:

call me HUA WAN TING.

2006-10-13T23:53:00.000+08:00

Woosh. I'm sooooo tired.

Today was a really short day followed by a 5.5 hours but not very productive mugging session with CAO HUI YAN at the library. Managed to practise abit of SHM for fm, then one terrible AJ econs mcq paper from the all jcs 2004 book i borrowed today and then a few essay plans. I think I'm really on my diminishing returns. Oh man, this cannot happen!!!!

Tomorrow's another mugging day with THE PIG at bedok library. FM FM FM all the way!!!

I think I better go off to do another mcq so that my breaded chicken can be digested. Oh yes, SHU XIONG is so funny today. Haha, insider joke(:

Yawwwnnnnnsss.....

相逢

2006-10-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

"我一点也不心急，因为我们都需要准备，两个人的相遇或许是偶发的，但唯有双方都准备好了，相遇才有意思，不然就是相逢，也无法解读其中的深意。"

Que Sera, Sera.

2006-10-10T15:34:00.000+08:00

After literally crying to mechanics last night, the morning came as a rather uneasy one for me. First, my tummy was bloated from the previous night's cupnoodle which I, in my own way, tried to brighten up my spirits after pig unwittingly didn't reply my msg. Next my right ear is hurting like no tomorrow. In spite of that, i'm actually quite glad that I'm feeling much better already, physically or emotionally.

Sometimes, i still find it quite hard to do. Although efforts to indulged in academics to put my mind off things that i've no power over, has indeed lighten quite a fair bit of my worries, its still not the best method of it all. Afterall, craming knowledge and doing papers cannot ease my worries over the grades that never seem to improve or the questions that i can never do correctly, if they haven't been adding on to them.

Its quite depressing sometimes, and yesterday was definitely one of those. You work hard, work hard and harder, and at the end, there's this glass ceiling seemingly mocking; is this the best you can do, unfortunately this is the best that you can do. I'm not supposed to believe that; yet succumbing to it can be ever so easy.

Luckily, if it wasn't for the hand that brother gave me which was ever so reassuring, i guess my past would have surfaced again last night.

Sometimes you and i still need that shoulder.

But for now I still have to be very strong, I know that. (:

Life goes on ...

Frequencies.

2006-10-07T21:49:00.000+08:00

The day was spent at KS' place with the tasty people, despite not being in my most productive mode, I managed to complete most that was on my agenda after deciding to give the movie a miss. Little sacrifices for greater good, I kept reminding myself that. And luckily, Lum and I are gonna start our weekday study sessions next week, hais, I really hope something can be done then to improve my current grades which seems like an obstacle so big that I can never cross over and shine.

Actually I like it this way. I like it when all you have to do is cram cram and cram more knowledge into your head, and do do do do do do papers, until maybe I feel like banging my head against the wall. At the very least, I keep a lot of things away from my mind. I don't get worrying about what that I cannot change. I pretend not to know what I already knew.

*

"Its the same theory as in sound frequencies, you only hear the frequencies the human ear permits. What you cannot see, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. If you get to see everything, then our world will be a messy place to live in. Our eye works in that similar way. You cannot see it because your body doesn't allow you to. And my best explanation for it is, this is how the body works."

-ThePhysicsTutor.

And its so true isn't it?
Maybe this is the way we protect ourselves, from knowing too much.

And maybe thats what I should do, to save myself from all that pain.

Day 30; Never ever give up hope.

2006-10-02T17:40:00.000+08:00

I was so darn happy I tell you.

Cos' for the 1ST time in my whole freaking college life...

I PASSED GP!!!!

And its not through rounding off.

(: (: (:

Day 32; 爱拼才会赢

2006-09-30T01:34:00.000+08:00

一时失志不免怨叹
一时落魄不免胆寒
那怕失去希望
每日醉茫茫
无魂有体亲像稻草人
人生可比是海上的波浪
有时起有时落
好运歹运
总嘛要照起来行
三分天注定
七分靠打拼
爱拼才会赢

今天的一大领悟：最耳熟能详的一首歌，原来也有那么深的人生哲学。
谁叫自己天资比别人差... 但我相信勤能补拙！

努力，努力，再努力！

Day 35; The Meeting of Mr Haolian and Ms Cake.

2006-09-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

And so today was one of the best days of my life, for that, I'm gonna tell a story.

So here it goes:
The Meeting of Mr Haolian and Ms Cake

Background:
mr haolian is an irritating schoolmate of mscake's who has a subject combi 3/4 similar to hers. the fundamental irritation that came from mr haolian was his ego and his self induglence in competing with mscake, which she never wanted to reciprocate. ms cake never forget that day when mr haolian told her straight in her face that "I WANT TO WIN YOU". And mscake being the a little less than average student in her a little more than average school, assumes that mrhaolian has scored pretty well and so has been making attempts to avoid him since the day results were first released.

But fortunately or unfortunately, one wednesday after the big event, mr haolian and mscake met on their way home...

Setting: On some public transport.

mscake pretended not to see the already on board mrhaolian and quickly sat down on the nearest available seat she could find. she was surprised at how lucky she was, but kept on praying, hope he doesnt see me, goodness. And whilst praying, she took out her dearly tys in hope to make the trip home a fufilling one, then..

DADANG!

she saw a familiar physique right before her and all that she could think of was...

SIAO LIAO!

mrhaolian being the ever interested(in her results) party started the conversation..

haolian: aye, this time results very lan leh.. how arh?!
cake: aye, you sure not? don't tell me you got BBBB but u expecting 4As... then like that very lan.
haolian: then you leh? how did you do?
cake: ok larh, so so lor.. having very low expectations of herself was content with her grades.
haolian: aye you know hor my chem got like D leh.. aye I was so shock lor..
cake wanted to laugh, but stopped herself.

haolian: so your maths how?
cake: so so lor.
haolian: so how much you got? 60 WHAT HUH?!
cake, after some hesitation, cause she felt like killing him: aye quite bad, only 70, you leh?
haolian for a moment, was SHOCK! HAHAHAHAH! (cake was F previously)
haolian: huh? 70 is also not very good leh.... after a long pause.. i got 50/60 plus lar..

WAHAHAHAHAHAH! but cake still dare not laugh out loud.

cake: ok what.. aye me is my p2 drag me down.. likethat i think fmaths worse liao lor..
haolian: so what did you get huh? paper1 (the only paper gotten back)
cake: very bad lor.. die liao lar... (she previously got an F)
haolian: i got 40+ ...

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

cake: i got 60+ .. but very bad la.. paper 2 surely worse one (which is true)
cake: anyway hor do you know Ms L got like an A for maths? so good right?

ms L and mrhaolian were once related in someway or another....

haolian: WHAT?! what for you tell me.. make me ZI BEI only..
cake: am I? oh so sorry leh..

.
.
.

and before cake alighted,
cake: aye, you so clever surely can one lar.. who knows you'll get 4As in the end right? not like me.. i'll be just content with 3As.. hais... cos i not like you lar.. too bad...

WAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.. and cake started laughing the moment she stepped out of the bus, all the way till she falls for her nap and after the nap, till now, 11.18 pm, about 8 hours from the incident.

Morale of the story? Don't be haolian lar!

*All names have been changed to protect the characters involved.

Day 36; A Good Start.

2006-09-26T18:58:00.000+08:00

School is finally back in after like 2 days of fun and recuperation. Its seems like I've just started to relax and enjoy: dumpling wrapping with c&ks on sunday, romantic getaway afterthat(which wasn't romantic at all, haha), then kbox session on monday morning followed by catching up with kaili, whom I haven't met for like 2 years according to her and the next moment, everything has to end.

Results were so far so good and I hope things can remain this way to propel me to reach for my stars. I believe I can do it, you should believe you can do so too.

Anyway, its 36 days away from November the 2nd. I need to get back to studying, but before that, there's the quote of the day:

"We're giving you guys the same essay plans as what we're going to exchange with the other colleges.... there's no need for us to hid anything, and in fact thats not what education is all about."

Admist all that competition and struggle to climb the social ladder,
have you forgotten what education should be all about too?

I did.

This split second, I believe that.

2006-09-25T01:06:00.000+08:00

Everyone has their own philosophies for love.

Some believed in love as first sight, others never agree to that. Some believe in continuous trying, others believe in waiting. Some believed in the right moment, others were quick to jump into the pitfall of love. Some believed in fighting for what they wanted, others left theirs to fate. Some never look back, others regrets.

For me, I believed that falling in love only takes one moment. Its that one moment which told you "hey, this man is gonna be the one." So does it takes one moment too, to unfall in love, if thats what you call it. That one very moment which said "hey, this is not gonna work anymore.." It just takes that one split second and you know it. You just know it.

No matter what one subscribes to, eventually, we have to be responsible for our choices. Good or bad, you chose it, you ought to get what you deserved.

But never look back, never ever look back and regret.

And thats why I'm so in love with econs cos,
Life is economics, every choice has its opportunity cost*.

*highest valued alternatives forgone to satisfy a particular want.

So what's your take? Choose your philosophy wisely.

La Vie En Rose.

2006-09-24T03:44:00.000+08:00

New Template.
So Proud. Haha.

I did this from about 1 to 3am ok? 2 hours is quite a feat. Haha.
I'm just so inspired by this song (that is playing).Hoho, man I really want to dance to it with mydream man.

Finally prelims are over, and school is starting on tuesday. Sian.

I've got to rest now for C&K and my romantic getaway outings tomorrow.

Cya guys around.

Pia Till Die.

2006-09-19T18:59:00.000+08:00

Miracles will happen.

Cos' I could do most part of the FM paper today. Wahahha, ok or at least I thought I wouldn't fail, again hoho! And I hope I wun. Physics was shit lar, so don't talk about it.
Its another day of break (just after 4 days of break) before 3 consecutive papers till the end of the prelims. Sian, I feel like I've got more days of breaks than days with papers for the whole of these 2 examination week. Instead of serious mugging 15/24 like what I intended, breaks left me sleeping 1/3 of the day away and ended up with only like 5 hours each day, to cramp everything into this head of mine.

Haiz, FM paper 2 and its stupid mechanics. I need another miracle.

Grant me the luck and I promise I'll piang till I die right after this. Yes, 死都要拼！

“拼！拼！拼！！！”

Interval.

2006-09-14T18:46:00.000+08:00

I feel like a piece of shit.

The week's papers have finally ended like an hour ago, while 6 more are coming up starting next tuesday. I'm glad I'm feeling much better compared to the POST JCT, as in more confident. Yet this is not the confidence level I should be having now, I think I should be more confident of myself now that A's is about 1 mth or so away.

In short, GP was lucky cos one of the questions discussed in class came out while many others were quite familiar, but I don't put much hopes in my atrocious foundations in the subject. Like what I told my brother that morning, sometimes you need the luck, cos you never know if the same qn's gonna come out again and it did. Maths was my only hope so far, if you kept all that careless parts. Econs essays were draining, and the worse-s I think I've ever written. And the most shitty thing of all has got to be physics which ended the week; I felt like I've never taken physics all of my life.

And I was saying I felt like a piece of shit. Yes, and now this piece of shit is trying to hope for some miracle to happen during her FM papers so that she can stop getting a F for FM again.

So, that makes her 2 pieces of shit.
Perfect!

I'm hungry, and my dinner is waiting for me.
Goodbye!

A Lil More than 48 hours.

2006-09-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

I think I've never felt this afraid before.

I'm so afraid of being afraid of an exam that I'm shopping online for prom dresses right at this moment.

Oh man, I've been here too long.

Good luck everyone. For now, I shall go fight my growling stomach and my nj paper.

Jiayou lo!

A Gentle Reminder.

2006-09-01T21:59:00.000+08:00

This was the self reminder I did on my dearest gc when I was really bored mugging fm 2 days ago...

Oh man, I still got mechanics, FOE and demand and supply for tonight.

Mug hard everyone!

That April.

2006-08-31T23:31:00.000+08:00

Everybody has their fair share of sorrow.

I feel like I'm losing him.
The signs are showing, the symptoms are surfacing.

Let us all be healthy and happy again.

Exams.

2006-08-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

1st day of prelims.
19 chapters of econs.
ah yes, its time to get it started!

For the Regulars.

2006-08-28T00:21:00.000+08:00

I feel like I've just finished an entire course of National Education after like 3 hours of research around the ministry and statutory board websites.

GP is a terrible thing to study and so being a very horrible GP student who doesn't want others to suffer like she does... I'm offering my regulars some of my research!!!

Though it might not be some extraordinary notes that might improve your grade by 1 or 2 bands, at least I summarised and CAP(copy and pasted) for the past 3 hours for it. Might be useful for "your country questions" so feel free to take a look. (:

Singapore Education.
Singapore Social Issues.

See, I told you its good to be my friend.
And of cos, to read my blog.

Goodnight world.
Mug hard everyone!

Life is good.

2006-08-23T23:28:00.000+08:00

Its again the start of another ending.

There's 2 more days to study break, but school doesn't seem to cut down its toil on me; school work, revision, and all the stuffs being the class rep. Teachers' Day celebration for the yr2s are supposed to be on friday and I haven't have anything prepared. Its hard serving a class, believe me, especially when they're more than just dependent on you to get all that bullshit done.

I've just work through my sums on the topics I've yet to touch for the subjects. Physics was good, maths was alright, fmaths still need much catching up to do while econs my supposed best subject was atrocious as I haven't touched it at all. i don;t deny that I'm pressurising myself; mild pressure is good for health. Yet i think there's still a gap to being stress and I think some of you do know how amok I can run when things are too much for me to take. I've been there to know that I must not be.

Anyway, I've made up my mind to go back to school almost everyday in those breaks and the library on weekends. Home is still too much a distraction for me to put 15/24 into good practise.

It has been 1.5 hours since I gave up on trigo and I need to go back for more work.

Goodnight world.
Goodnight you.

We shall see again, soon.

The Ideal Husband.

2006-08-20T22:28:00.000+08:00

Oh man. Oh man.
3 weeks to prelims. Are you feeling all the jitteries already?

Ah yes, I'm going to marry a gp tutor so hopefully my child wouldn't suffer doing the language like I do now.

Oh man.
Oh man.

But I do really want to marry a gp tutor if there's one suitable.

Yes, Yes, marry a gp tutor.

8 more days of school.

2006-08-15T21:10:00.000+08:00

I don't mind a little more suffering on my part, its isn't like I haven't suffered before. Even if you do meant well, you need to know that its never too good of you to put words in my mouth. I do have my reasons for doing and not doing certain things.

Anyway, the week's 2 horrible tests are driving everyone crazy and so am I. The saddest thing is when I actually thought for the best day to pon school, there were no good days available cos my best day which is tomorrow has to be left for collection of yearbookmoney for my dear class.

Life seems good for me doesn't it?
Fortunately or not, it has to be.

New Perspectives.

2006-08-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

Holiday Blues.

2006-08-10T20:54:00.000+08:00

Its a beautiful Thursday night. Parents are out watching 歌台 and iTunes is shuffling all my favourite songs. I do have a lot to complete for tonight - HwaChong's summary, 05prelim's AQ and my dear complex tutorial 4; but on a wonderful night like this, those things must wait. Yet I'm feeling guilty wasting 2 whole days doing only 1.5 papers, 1 year of mcqs and maybe 1 sucky summary.

I was surfing Friendster just now, saw lots of new photos- outings', classes'etc. I feel sour whenever I see things like this cos o6 is never likethat. Even if we did, its never a complete thing; don't talk about the chalets or supposed birthday celebrations which are done half hearted and superficially.

I've a whole class of people with big inspirations. Scholarships, overseas universities, wellknown organisations' careers, internships, you name it, they want and can want it. I don't mean they're not good if fact they're things that not everyone can aim for. Sometimes I just feel like I'm too ordinary in comparison when I don't want to achieve so much in my mere 18 years of life, or maybe when I don't get to achieve that much.

Just like what I told Lum a few months ago: 如果十年后要结婚摆喜酒，看看今天班上的那些人，还真不知道该请谁来好-那个还会记得，那个还会bother,有时候我还真的不知道。Everyone says pre-u life was good and is gonna be the best times of one's life, I wonder why mine turned out this way. Sometimes I wonder what I'll really remember of today five years down the road- maybe its the bits and pieces of tkd, the everything that we went through, maybe its the pathetic HK trip that almost bonded the clique. But isn't it at all pathetic that this is everything that I were to remember? There wouldn't be anything about o6 definitely; only if there is something to remember about when all you do is go to school, study and go back home every single day.

Oh yes, maybe I will remember how the class and the caring tutors inflicted tonnes of stress and pressure so much so that I dread going to school every single morning.

Lucky me, school will be out in less than 2 mths time. Till then I'll finally be able to stop worrying about not playing my part at the class rep to do some class bonding.

Oh maybe you will think that I'm complaining too much to appreciate the things in life. But I still think I've a relatively sad life. HAHA, and sad people need to mug now.

Goodnight everyone.

Confessions of a Mountain Tortoise.

2006-08-09T18:13:00.000+08:00

I must be a mountain tortoise.

Everybody thinks I'm a mugger.

Ok, I'm.

Oh wells.

Its National Day.

I need to go out.

I need to go out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

等待。

2006-08-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

我不怕寂寞，只怕爱错。

illed?

2006-08-04T19:24:00.000+08:00

I feel sick. I think it must be the more than just a few strands of fries I tried to steal from my brother earlier and the afternoon of simply doing nothing at all. If this the way the body reacts to a break after 3 weeks of non-stop mugging then it must be very funny!

I guess I need to get back to mugging so that hopefully the illness will go away for another intensive weekend.

"There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it you've got to stand it."
- Annie Proulx, Brokeback Mountain.

Test.

2006-08-03T00:32:00.000+08:00

I don't want to feel this stupid.
I don't want this useless feeling.
I cannot help the worries.

Mind of a Sportsman.

2006-07-31T21:47:00.000+08:00

I finished 2.4 trial run today with 14.20 and I was really damn sad. I've always have my own way of doing sports: to stop at the right time than to run continuously just to keep the momentum. Not able to withstand the entire journey continuously, I know that I would always have to stop somewhere at the 3rd or 4th round, halfway through the run. Today, I didn't, I thought by going on continuously I can finish the run with better results which apparently I ended up 30s slower.

With that, I learnt a lesson today: to stop as deemed appropriate, do things at my own pace and never compete.

Quoting Limin in her very sweet note for me yesterday, "Those who keep trying will eventually finish the race and I believe you can finish it."

I do hope my next run will reap better results, and so for the next race.

Ok. I've to go finish up my tutorials after that reflection. :)

Goodnight world.
Goodnight you.
Remember to mug hard everyone (:

Never compete, never compete.

5 weeks to prelims.

2006-07-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

I keep feeling as if I haven't revise anything at all and I'm lacking behind in my schedule.I feel like I've got soo much yet sooo little time. My class people are freaking me out.I don't want to do badly anymore.I need to get my ACJC prelim paper done by tonight. I need to feel a little more urgent about the exams. I need to get down to my compre now. My friends are really driving me crazy. I cant seem to understand the mechanism behind particles and rigid bodies no matter how hard I tried to do so. Thats why I'm still in consideration to drop my fm. I need to finish physics, vectors and my tutorials tomorrow. I want to talk to somebody now, but to who? Talking is a waste of time and yes, I should get down to my compre NOW!

ARHGHGHRHGHRHGHHGHRHGHHGH!!!

uyhvb teuion v jkzxpihoh8 mgrhi v ru9 wt 9uy w p ww9 9u 9 IEU GY C URIURT CRIVNIU 9750-6826N V8 06B998Q870-6843680=69970V JI GRG9MU TB (THIS NO CODE, JUST THE RESULT OF MY VENTING OF PRE-EXAM FRUSTRATION)

I'm driving myself crazy, oh yes I'm!
This is too random and not making sense, so don't doubt your language proficiency, its mine.

STUDY NOW!

Back on Track.

2006-07-27T21:08:00.000+08:00

I think the best thing that can happen on shuffle is to have all your favourite songs in a row :)

Lum requested for this so well...

Maybe I should quickly finish this and get down to my 2004 paper.

I love to eat, sleep, mug and stay slim.

I don't understand why am I even doing this.

I lose sleep when I've something bugging me.

People say I am the epitome of coldness.

Love is something currently undesirable.

When I like someone I lose my head.

Somewhere someone is meant to be.
Somewhere someone is being missed.
Somewhere someone will be here for me, eventually.

I will always be ambiguous.

Forever is a moment.
Forever is always.

I never want to be too rich.

I think the current US President has nothing to do with me.

I will never forget that 背影.

My past is still part of me.

My greatest fear is not fearing at all.

I get annoyed with stupid people.

My dog - this is not a valid question.

Kisses are the best desserts.

Tomorrow is another day closer to prelims. Hais.

I really want to score well this time.

I have low tolerance for stupid people!

I want to watch The Lakehouse, can somebody please volunteer to go with me?

Drop or Mug Now.

2006-07-25T19:47:00.000+08:00

To stay true to my innermost emotions, I've decided to hang in there for the meantime. For those who wants the best for me, to suggest me to give up the subject, I'm sorry but I want to give myself another try. For those who think I can do it eventually, I will try my best not to disappoint anyone of you.

At the end of the day, I will pay for any consequences for the choice I've made to hold on now. I want to hold on not because of anyone but myself. I want to challenge myself for one last time; without any intention to compete with anyone or whatsoever. Mother is right, I wasn't born to be a normal girl and should have been very blessed just to be one now, and for all that opportunities I've been given, I shouldn't give up on myself when they didn't give up on me 14 years ago.

I wouldn't drop the subject as for now.
I might change my mind but now,

this is my choice, anonymous.

好朋友的一句忠告。

2006-07-24T01:18:00.000+08:00

“你根本都没有去尝试，你怎么知道那双鞋子不耐穿？
只有在试了之后，你才有权利下判断。只有把鞋子买下来，穿过了才会知道最终的结果。
这样的道理，就跟你所面对的问题一样。你一定要做个选择，你一定要去尝试。不管你最终的决定是什么，给自己一个机会，因为只有这样你才能知道最后的结果。让你的心做主。”

面对问题，
我常选择原封不动，什么也不做。问题还是问题，烦恼还是烦恼。
给自己一个机会去尝试？我害怕。
我的恐惧似乎已盖过了在新的领域或过程中，所有的新发现，新收获。

我需要一点勇气不再逃避。
我需要一点尝试的勇气。

To Hang On or Die.

2006-07-24T01:04:00.000+08:00

I don't want to be rational.
I don't like to be afraid.
I don't want to make a choice.

The Mugger's JournAl.

2006-07-23T00:13:00.000+08:00

Today was a fairly productive day studying with Kaisin at tampines library. As expected, we were the only ones and well, it was a great time mugging, eating, shopping and chatting. Its sure a crazy idea going out with the sister of your best friend but its fairly good I supposed. And to some extent, we do click. :)

Anyway, have I mentioned that Father got me a free TCC membership card- The Connoiseur Card, FOC? Oh yes, 'cos he sort of had a new project with the plumbing works of quite a few outlets so I might as well make use of the chance to make him get one for me. And so, ya I saved S$88. :)

I've to go complete an essay so that I can have something productive for tomorrow's tuition.

Goodnight world.
Goodnight to you.

Crossroads.

2006-07-22T00:21:00.000+08:00

The least a stupid person can do is to make smart choices.

Some told me to be the mouse which struggled to turned milk into magarine or cheese or whatsoever. Others adviced to die a peaceful and effortless death in the sea of obstacle. Choices are always hard to make cos' consequences are never easy to bear.

I seem to have an answer to this yet this part of me gradually saw the rationale to refute my grounding. Circumstances and environment changes one's viewpoints, mindset and whatsoever, and maybe its time for me to accept this change in me?

Choices are bad enough yet the day doesn't seem to let me off that easily when the bus broke down almost 500m away from my place. The worse thing of all is that excellent service of the transport system actually requires its passengers to pay an extra boarding fee( for the second bus which came to rescue us) when supposedly we were the victims of the incident.
Damn stupid!

Well well, thanks for all the advice but I think I stil need sometime of my own before a decision can surface. Anyway, this was rome2ng's best observation of me in like 6 years,
ж?σииε | maths sucks | says:
you have people to talk to, but you just don't want to talk to them cos you think they cos you to pay your hp bill
ж?σииε | maths sucks | says:
you know alot of things, but you always think too much,
ж?σииε | maths sucks | says:
but neither you are humble with what you have, and always nv listen to people, that makes u think u don't know alot

and his best words so far,
ж?σииε | maths sucks | says:
i don't need to 6 years to understand you to pen down this observations
ж?σииε | maths sucks | says:
we just need to remember, nor matter how we try to change, some thing deep inside will still remain intact
ж?σииε | maths sucks | says:
it's only thru experience, setback and everything that we encounter, allows us to see our inner self
ж?σииε | maths sucks | says:
well, its still not saddening. you still have alot of bright years more to live on. it's only 17 years right now, for you

Haha, its quite saddening for him to take 6 years but its surprisingly quite true isn't it?

Sometimes all you need a such a friend. :)

Numbers shouldn't be complex.

2006-07-20T21:00:00.000+08:00

Thats why they always tell us to think simple.

3 weeks after my brains had failed me, the streneous mugging and burying of oneself in books has already taken evident toil on me. My already serious sweaty palms problem has gotten from bad to worse causing me serious problems writing, and even now whilst typing. And worse comes today's slackest group PE lesson of all which comprises of only 1 round of track and a few sets of galley nafa training, which apparently made me faint and nausea. It just doesn't seem quite right when I could usually run like 2 to 3K and feel more than just refreshed afterwards. I just don't seem right.

-

Revision these days are lacking in time with tonnes of leftovers from the previous weeks and mountains of unattainables within the current. Luckily the long weekend is coming for me, though packed with activities, will leave me enough time to complete tutorials and catch up with whatever is needed :)

My last training, grading, family matters, JTS and lotsa revision: I'm so forward looking about the weekends and hopefully I can squeeze sometime out to satisfy my shopping crave.

-

Why on earth would we want to squareroot minus 1?
Numbers really shouldn't be complex.

Goodnight world.
Goodnight to you.

Constants.

2006-07-17T22:22:00.000+08:00

There are times when we demand an explanation an explanation really isn't possible.

Blink, Malcolm Gladwell.

Distractions.

2006-07-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when you really want to get your ass down to get something done, stupid things come taking up your precious time; I meant GSC.

Its the start of a new week already, meaning we are on the 7th week before the major one. Despite not procratisnating, I'm still lacking in my schedule. Therefore, I must do something about this, QUICK!

Anyway I'm currently planning for my after A's list which will be posted at 备忘录 soon, when time permits.

For dreams,
its time to get back to my 10 tutorials of mathsc mechanics.

Goodnight world.
Goodnight you.

Optimism is a choice.

2006-07-14T23:53:00.000+08:00

I abhor sad people.
And so, I had no choice but to be happy.

Conquering Defeat.

2006-07-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

We should live in the present for the future.

This was Teresa's msn nick, apparently on the issue discussed this afternoon during pattern training. We talked about dropping subjects, continuing subjects that we flunked like no tomorrow, and the cost-benefit analysis of it all.

At one point in life, I thought success was all and failure was hard to do. Yet when there really came such a time, I came to realise that its actually not that hard to accept defeat. At the end of the day, I reap what I sow and reap nothing when I don't sow at all. The hardest thing to accept is to realise that you haven't put in the effort to even try to win at all.

Meritocracy never sound more cruel than the day you realise you're at the failing end. At another point in my life, I forgot the way my society values hardwork and the way I used to keep on fighting. I forgot how I used to love knowledge and how I went beyond my limits.

Luckily, I didn't remember that too late.

The thing is, I do not want to drop my subjects, at least for now, even when my grades are really atrocious. I just don't want to waste putting 1.5 years of my life into something and not getting anything out of it in the end, when I know that I can iff I've put in the necessary.

If you've lost your way like I did, its never too late to be back on track again.
I believe I can conquer my defeat and for that,

we should always move on.

Just Study.

2006-07-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

This weekend is really unproductive with only one econs mcq done from my entire week 2 schedule. Yesterday saw me shopping for donuts at taka after gp tuition and today was totally devoted to my dear dragonboating. Even though only like 6 or 7 of us year2s are there, the weather was freaking horrible and my physical condition was tramatising at the very end, it was fun fun fun!!! After that, we had 6happypeople+Mathias steamboat at my place.Hoho!

I'm just so glad school starts at 1155 tmr cos I get to rightfully watch the match tonight! And France will win! Hoho, I'm not actually a French supporter la, just that everyone thinks Italy will win... wells.

Anyway, C bought me this box of supposedly limited edition chocs this afternoon whch according to him is a 1/50 import: meaning mine is like 1 out of the only 50 in Singapore :)

Luckily I'm a lil of a football fan but apparently I've no idea which jersey belongs to whosoever. HAHA!

I must go read my freaking tall stack of newspapers from like a month ago before the finale starts.

Goodnight world.
Goodnight you.

I just hope I'm thinking too much and that doesn't mean anything.

I Think of You- Tata Young.

2006-07-09T01:28:00.000+08:00

When I'm down and all alone
When nothing seems to matter
When I lose my hope
When I'm sad and confused

When it all gets turned around and 'round
I can't seem to reach for solid ground
When everything I've believed in seems untrue
All I have to do

Is think of you
I think of you and it's goneLike you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you and I'm strongAnd I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

Cause there's nothing I can't bear
Knowing that you will be there
If I fall I won't break
Through it all I'll make it through
Cause all I have to do

And when I think I'm all alone
I can't see the way to go
Lost in the rain of my own tears
To wash away the pain and fear

For the good times and the bad times
I just think of you
Cause you know you get the best of me
I just think of you

I still love this song after so long cos there hasn't been once it doesn't sound so truｅ．

I just think of you.

Jersey Day.

2006-07-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

After almost 4 days of tramatising post jcts, I guess I'm finally back on track. While I'm still in the process of my 把自己找回来 project, I'm really quite glad that terrible things are happening now than like 2 or even 4 months later. All I could really say is that, I've really learnt my lesson that I just freaking lack the innate intelligence that some of my counterparts possess.

Anyway, college has been admist a World Cup atmosphere these days with Jersey Day this morning and a coincidental half day on monday. Thats a really happening way to start a stressful term arh.

After serious considerations of embarking on a fulltime mugging journey, I cancelled today's movie date like 3 days ago after the very first tramatising effect. I was really sorry about it but I guess anyone is the right state of mind with good understanding of my situation would know that this is seriously not the right time for distractions. Well, those who don't understand don't even deserve.
Whatever it is, I just hope today's conincidence doesn't give anyone any wrong signals or anything.

LALA, I should go off to watch some Desperate Housewives before doing work again.

I MUST finish eigenvalues and t-test today.

加油加油！

把自己找回来。

2006-07-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

我这次又迷失了方向。

前面的风光现在对我来说很模糊，
我没有信心自己能走到终点。

虽然是有点彷徨，失措。
但我并不伤心。
我真的没有伤心。
因为我很清楚地了解这样子没有用。
我很清楚的知道，只有开始努力才能继续走下去。

我必须化悲愤为力量。
我必去把自己找回来，从新开始。

接下来的日子会很艰难。
我需要很多勇气，更多的毅力走下去。
支持我吧。
因为我也在支持我自己。

婷，加油咯!
勇敢地把这条路走完...

输了你赢了世界又如何

2006-07-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

朦胧之间仿佛我又看见你的脸
依然带著淡淡忧愁的双眼忽隐忽现
就当全是一场梦不必掩饰我的错
无奈的哭笑不必找牵强的理由
就让她日日夜夜刺痛我胸口
让我眼神没有焦点
泪水模糊我的视线
输了你赢了世界又如何
你曾渴望的梦我想我永远不会懂
我失去你赢了一切却依然如此冷清
有谁又能让我倾心除了你
你我之间难道没有剩下一点点
一点曾经刻苦铭心的眷恋让你挂念
我只能说如今我已无处可躲
当我默默黯然回首
当我看尽潮起潮落

-优客李林

这一天的心情真是糟透了。
明天可就要接受成绩的打击。
虽然已有所预料，还是难免担心。

总总的事...

有点鼻酸。
不想哭；却很想有那种流着眼泪的感觉。

我肯定是神经质了...

Lock my world and lost the keys.

2006-07-03T01:01:00.000+08:00

I'm like so damn tired after yesterday's work. I feel like my legs are breaking and my mind is topsy-turvy after all that incessant persuades and rejections. At least the pay was good, iff you try hard enough, which I didn't. Haha.

Kboxing with Mother tmr.

Tired tired tired.

I need some serious planning for the path ahead. But before all that, sleep is all I need now.

Goodnight world.
Goodnight you.