#87. The Chronicles of Narnia.

I need motivation, a lot more of that.

*

Sometimes I too ask myself, what is happening, what is happening to me, my life. You say I'm deceiving myself, she says one thing, he says another. But I always believe only I know myself best and least. Enough, I know I'm nothing but an irony.

*

Fear. Its fear so terrible that it starts to eat you from inside. Fear of this, that and everything else. It brings you down, it isolates. It builds up. Soon, you become numb, theres no more pain, no more hurt, no more wounds, theres no anything. Nothing, maybe just scars. And unfortunately you can't shake these away. When everything else goes away, the scars stay, they cling onto you for life. There's no more things such as emotions and you can't turn back. No love, no hate, no trust, no happiness, no sadness, no care, no concern. No more signs of emotions either, no tears, no laughter,no anything perhaps except fear itself.

At the end of the day, everyday is a routine. You don't remember anything of today, because you're afraid of memories and them becoming memories. You return to a cell of your very own, devoid of most emotions. People admire you for what and who you build yourself to be. The Super Woman. The Super Woman from afraid of being afraid.

I don't want you to be like this cos I don't want to be a Super Woman too. All before you cannot turn back anymore...

Whyte Karyn - Super Woman
I'm not your super woman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down and think that
eveything's OK
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional heart as a token of love from you
to me

Goodnight.
Believe me, tomorrow is always a better day.