#132. Blog Break.

很想哭,哭完无助
我发狠我一个相处
就算哭,也一样没帮助
我被困在一个人的小屋
眼前是什么路
已看不清楚

Nobody can escape forever.

I guess I need a break to sort out my thoughts. I need sometime to see for myself where I'm heading to, what I want and how on earth am I gonna deal with all that shit. I still need more time to accept, to adapt. Its gonna be hard to be who you aren't but this has got to be the best solution.

This is gonna be a tough term for me to learn, and experience.

I'll be back, when I find the me I used to be.

Goondnight everyone and goodbye!
Remember to be Happy :) cos I'll be happy for you too.

#130. Dragonboat

The sun, the water and the hunks. OMG, dragonboating is fun !!!!
I must join sea sports in u.... haha

Finally tmr got a break to mug.
Goodnight!

#129. The Economics of Love.

Something interesting found. Enjoy.

The Economics of Love
Here are some of the stuff I found pretty crapped but true to large extent:

1. Assuming people fall in love because the total benefit of being in love outweighs the total cost of being in love. So the probability of falling in love is related to your perception of the probability of net benefit resulting from being in love.

Your Love for Love Interest = Love Interest's Love for You
Your Love for Love Interest = Your Net Benefit of Being in Love + Your Emotional + Availability + Your Past Love Experiences


Love Interest's Love for You = Love Interest's Net Benefit of Being in Love +
Love Interest's Emotional Availability + Love Interest's Past Love Experiences

Once in love, you both work to maintain a state of equilibrium, where your love for lover is equal to your lover's love for you.

2. Search Cost of Love
Finding your soulmate requires you to spend time, money, and energy to find him/her. The equation for search cost is:
search cost = your attractiveness +
social networking skills +
search time cost +
search financial cost

3. Total Benefit of Current Love
When love ends, all benefits of that love are lost.

*

Alright, the econs seminar @ NTU today was pretty good though I felt pretty cheated. The professors kinda gave us quite a quick overview of some of the areas which I might get to look into if I'm given the opportunity to offer the degree. Haha, lotsa things learn, quite fun, quite tired but worth it.

K, I needa go off and rest now cos tmr's gonna be a long day with trg and dragonboating. Woohoo, dragonboat, here I come!!!

Goodnight me.
Goodnight everyone!

#128.

SMU was very attractive with all its high tech seminar rooms, very interesting econs mock lecture, small intakes, cineleisure-alike buildings, and very cool and fun people. I guess I sort of made up my mind after 2 days hopping around the two universities aside NTU. I think I'll opt for NUS if I can although I like SMU much more, but these things they only come 1 year later. Its sick to mention again but well it has to be mug mug mug for A's first.

*

I guess in a while I'll be quite alright after getting used to all that shit. I mean its good and bad afterall. Being an optmistic person, I should try very hard to think on the brighter side. :)

Lala, I've kinda regret going to the econs seminar tmr now that I haven't been sleeping well (=late) 2 days into the hols and I've got to wake up at 6 again tmr? WTH!!!!!

Still got newspaper articles to review somemore. SIAN!!!

Goodnight world.
Goodnight me.

#127. BSc.(Ec.)

I still hate singapore's higher education programmes; no money what to do. In spite of that, I still did some research for tomorrow's open houses so that I can make full use of the trips to be made asking questions on my intended first major. I'm still thinking of a second major, whether to take it and what to take, but these afterall still have to depend on my final results and the stupid SAT I.

Lala, Holidays is here. Rejoyce and stop yuppies' slavery!
We need a break and some good fun. :)

Alright I needa go off to do some Stats cos I really suck at it.

Goodnight everyone!
Happy Holidays.

#126. ' Peer Motivation '

I've been feeling pretty down for quite a while since. Despite several attempts of refusing to admit it, gobbling lotsa lotsa ice cream and even to speak out, I still have yet felt better. I guess partially the cause is still unknown. Sometimes, you just don't know why suddenly you feel some way right. I guess this is it cos I reckon its PMS cos it shouldnt be here yet, haha.

The thing is, I'm disgusted. bPeer Motivation. Oh yes? All that load of bullshit. I wonder if I was that much an irritation ack in secondary school also. Haha. Its not that I'm getting paranoid or smth but as much as I want to stay unaffected, I cannot. I mean, you do will be influenced when the situation around you is like very shitey? K, I just cannot replace that with a better with my limited vocab.

I'm just very very very sick. I'm sick and tired of telling people, 'nah its okay, own time own stuff' when I'm kinda affected, eventually. I just need someone true. I don't know, maybe I'm then the fake one.

Maybe its time for my story's 男主角 to appear so that he can lend me a shoulder and give me some warmth and reassurance in this cold, fake world. Hais.

On a little note, the hols is just 2 days away with lotsa activities packed in. I should be happy that school is out. For once in so long, I love being home.

Oh yes, Bryan just made it for the Star Idol Finals and I'm very happy cos I get to see him on TV again. Haha, if only my future 男主角 can be just half as good looking as he is, hoho. I'll faint I tell you.

Goodnight everyone.

#125. Friendships.

I'm having Skill B SPA tmr, I've yet to study and here I'm writing this shite.

I was thinking a lot about my relationships with the people around me and the basis on which they're built today. And my conclusion was, fortunately and unfortunately, most of such relationships are highly hinged on what we have in common: our similarities.

I've always have this opinion about relationships built up at an age of 17 and 18 that it is very much about accepting the differences in background, the way we grew up, or whatever there is to consider. Its very much unlike back 15 or 16 where the people we met were largely from the same background as we do, visiting the same malls, watching the same tv programme so on. Now, its very different.

And the thing now is, my friendships now are highly similarity based. What I meant was, we look at what we have in common with little or no regards of trying to understand and accept what is different. Its quite sad, I thought because I believe such relationships cannot last long. This is just like a BGR thats highly passion-based. Once the passion is gone, there's no more common point, we don't see the others difference and off we go.

Then I was thinking, 5 years down the road, can we do all these that we're doing now again? Can we even have something to start a conversation with? The answer is obvious and it doesnt need to take 5 years. I guess sometimes we do need to take a break from all that mugger life and put some sincerity into the relationships around us. Afterall, your grades cannot take you very far, your friends can.

As for now, I guess I'm still more comfortable loitering street 84, drinking bubble tea at void decks and gossiping about ahbengs and ahlians. I still feel more at ease speaking in my chi+eng+allthedialects and whatsoever. And sexually topics is never my taboo. This is the difference you have to accept in me.

I'm sorry to say but we still have a long way to go before we can actually accept each other's differences. It's gonna be hard, but I think we won't have a friendship that long to reach that stage anyway. So, its okay!

Goodnight!

#124. Sad Mugger Saturday Night

Had a really good time with my bestie today touring the fair, being half a taitai and being brokeback hill. Haha. :)

*

Oh its 11.50 pm on my beautiful Saturday night and I still have like a whole stack of shite to finish. Essays, stats, mechanics, emi, all that blah blah. And mechanics test on monday?! Spa tuesday ?! And I dont even know what topics are tested on friday lar. So, just shoot me in the head and let me die baby.

ARK!
Oh Goodbye!

#123. Because I loved You.

有人说，女人嘛，没法子一直只那么坚强...

Its funny how brave I can be most of the time yet go weak at the slightest thing. 女人啊，女人！

We had a clash of ideology again tonight over my deformed looking toe, haha. Kinda stupid to quarrel over such senseless stuff, but ya. I don't know what to say, all I standby was that I'm at the very end still the only one responsible for whats mine. Sometimes its just sick to think why on earth are we so alike.. GRRR!

Then he starts lamenting about my hair and all the other stuff he can come up with to spike me. I know that old stubborn man means well.. but, aye I dunno about him lar…

*

I still got a lot of work installed this weekend like any other but admist that, I’m most looking forward to meeting Cindy tmr for career and education fair. Hoho, I love my best friend.

Off to mug. Byee!

#122. 44% Fmaths distinction.

I was very very happy yesterday cos' our dearly senior from jyss scored herself 6 distinctions for the 2005 GCE A Levels exam at tj. I was really glad for her cos she actually made a name for herself now :)

I'm terribly sick again. I guess my wed nights and thurs are cursed.

Back to the point, I'm not very sure if she got distinctions for her 2 S papers also but... its damn good lar. You know.. jyss then 6 distinctions at As. omg!!! I aspire to be like her too! But ya lar, there's no way I can have 6 distinctions even if AO subjects are included cos my O's HCL is already a 3 and I gave up appealing for S papers. Lala, but its okay.. i stil have 5 distinctions to go!

Yes, I can do it :)
I can be the 45th % too. :)

Off to mug! Byee.